* Mirror's Edge * (1 out of 5 stars)

Hello,

I just finished playing Mirror's Edge and here is my review of it.

Before you run to the store you should definetly read my review to prevent
yourself from getting a bad game...

Because this game is not worth it... don't buy it unless you got money to
burn.

Ok so that's a warning up front... now that that is out of the way let's see
what this game has to offer and what I liked about it and didn't like
hehehe.

There is not too much to like about this game... It's like a dog's bone with
a little bit of flesh on it and that will have to make you happy. Because
there is so much bone... the little bit flesh will make you happy just a
little bit because you ll be starving for action in this game sort of.

When the action hits it s kinda nice since you've been starving for it...
all this running, kicking doors, climbing on stuff, jumping, climbing some
more kicking some doors...

And then only sometimes a little bit of action... but then when the action
happens you ll be sitting right up in your seat kicking those mother****ers.

The disarm movement/action is a total failure... it's difficult to pull
off... the slow motion is a total failure. So these two elements could have
been removed from the game.

The fighting itself is very enjoyable... if it wasn't so clunky but still..
Playing with a bitch kicking the **** ouf of cops is ****ing lovely. I loved
that part once I got the hang of it... it brought out the female side of me
screaming like a girly: "Go girl go girl.... Kick that mother****er ! Yeah
girly girly kick kick jump kick punch punch hit that mother****er yeah girly
yeah girly. Ooohhh i'd go when I died".

I kinda liked the dieing in this game... it makes it feel more thougher and
that you ll have to do your best some more.

You don't have any weapons in this game... but when you kick the **** ouf of
cops and they die... (from kicking ? gjez) anyway then you can get their
guns... and then you ll feel real happy ! Finally a gun and then you get to
blast the **** out of those other cops... LOL... sounds like fun ? You bet
ya !

Everytime you get to pick up a gun you feel realllll good and happy
inside... Like finally some action... finally I got to ****ing kill those
bitches that have been shooting on me while I was unarmed !

So it has a sweet taste of revenge in this game... just a little bit but
it's there !

But then the guns only have one clip of ammunition which is kinda
interesting because it forces you to use your bullits well... and then you
must run to the other mother****er you just killed to get his gun and shoot
somewhere which is nice.

The climbing and running and jumping was kinda interesting... but is it
worth your money ? I think not... I think there are more fun games out
there... this game is kinda relaxing and kinda boring so take your pick.

Also yesterday when I played the most of it... I got kinda sick after a
while... I had to stop... I stopped at the tall building that had to be
climbed.

I didn't really wanna climb that building it was so ****ing high. I also
fell down slowly... so I had to climb it twice... it was also a difficult
climb... once I made it it was ok...

I think this level/building is to hard for little kids... so this level
should have been modified or even removed... it adds a bit of frustration to
the game... but once you have climbed it you will have the feeling that
"yeah I did it" a little bit so that's kinda interesting too... but not
really worth it if people got stuck there.

Then you got to stop a police transport... This part of the game I did not
like... Shooting at cops in fans feels bad... Like I am the bad guy... I
don't feel like I am the bad guy shooting at cops... this part of the game
felt a bit bad and terrorist like.

Then you have to run down the building and shoot many cops... this part was
probably the best part of the game is also almost the last part of the
game... it's nice kicking, hitting, slamming, jumping, jump kick, grabbing
guns... shooting, shooting some more... then some this kate sister also
manages to get away or abducated or whatever. Actually I can't remember how
that part ended.

I won't tell the last level cause it was kinda cool as well.

The ending was kinda cool as welll it made me go yeah !

The music is kinda special has lots of low bass in it... sometimes the
action music begins to play when there is action which is nice. But it just
makes up for the missing action. Sometimes it complements it.

I think this game had to much climbing, to little really fast running... and
definetly not enough action.

If you're looking for an action game this is not it !

Ok some other things to write about:

I think this is the first game I actually played that uses the Unreal
Engine.

However I had to play on 1024x786... because the game ran so slow on
1920x1200.

If I play on 1920x1200 it feels like I am running inside an emulator or
something ?

I have seen better looking games that ran just fine on 1920x1200 so it's
probably the engine that's bad.

Or maybe they used an insane ammounts of triangles for the buildings (I
don't know ?!)

The graphics are not that superb... it's kinda boring/the same/not many
textures/lot's of squares willed with one color sort of.

Here and there the game has it's moments when you can lookup into the sky...
or into the distance... if your graphics can handle it though... since today
it was mysteriously lagging a bit when I played the time trail...

The "golden ducts level" kinda looked interesting but didn't make much
sense... why would there be gold ducts ?
The darkness inside this level was kinda interesting. But no big deal
further.

Swinging on the poles... sliding down polls and ladders...
Jumping across things and what not... it was an interesting game... but it
wasn't really great.

It's bit like a cake... it's fun for birthdays/in between or occasionally
but it's not the main dinner.

The police sounds were nice... seeing the trains/metro's go buy was nice...

I felt bad I couldn't talk to people or interact with people... or actually
see them...

I could only seem them from really far away.

The city is not really that believeable... it feels more like an
artificially created level/play ground that needs to serve a purpose in the
game... and which needs to look a bit hi-tech.

Granted though this is probably the most futuristic looking city I have ever
seen in a game and less give them a little applause for that... three little
claps, clap clap clap.

The point is:

Such a hi-tech futuristic level might be the perfect settings for a hi-tech
battle game as I described in Story for Doom 4 or Doom 5.

Where the hi-tech city get partially shot and turned to pieces by the big
battle raging on !

Some buildings will be stronger than others Some might even have shields
! to observe most of the impact of high velocity tank shells or so.

Unfortunately Mirror's Edge has none of this... just the boring running and
climbing etc.

However I hope they learned from it and I hope that someday we will see more
action packed shooters in such settings which could be cool

The sounds of the weapons sounded amazingly good ! (Only weird thing was the
heavy machine gun which sounded different at the last shot)

Spoiler alert: This game has something which I think I have never seen
before in a game... This game first of all his first person fighting... and
second of all: Enemy runners which will follow you...

And this was the really scary part of the game.... It was really scaring
getting chased by multiple runners that want to stun and kill you.

It was so scary that I think it's almost to scary for little kids... they'll
be scared out of there pants:

"Like mommie mommie, evil man chasing me, I am gonna die " !

Running after one runner was kinda interesting.

The animations in between looked kinda interesting too... but a bit cheaply.

The story a bit cheaply... a bit boring.

Who cares about these two sisters... ?

Really ?

Faith bores me... she says little during the game... except the occasional
"ohh" and "ahh" when she falls.

Maybe a bit more like: "Take that bitch" or "Take this bitch" when she hits
someone might be nice...

But maybe you as the player are supposed to say that yourself ?! So
maybe it's ok.

Would I recommend a second version of this game ? Probably NO.

One Mirror's Edge is more than enough for me.

However if Mirror's Edge 2 ever comes I will probably play it anyway... for
some occasional climbing and such...

But not next year or so... maybe in 3, 4 or 5 years I might play a game like
this again

I'll try to give ratings for individual elements of the game:

Graphics: 9
Weapon Sounds: 9
Music: 7.5
In Scene Animations: 3 (cheap/crappy)
Story: 1 (bad/uninteresting/unbelievable story)
In game animations: 8 (decent)
Character Control: 7.5 (could be better for example right mouse button
should be kick. left mouse button hit with fits.)
Originality: 9
Action: 4
Emotions: 6
Multiplayer: not tried, seems to be race only, no combat ?

All-in-all a weak game.

Get it when it's $10 not a penny more !

Bye,
Skybuck.