You'd think think that someone would have developed a little Windows GUI by
now that would allow people access to their DOS-compressed drives in the
modern Windows world.

Windows 98 comes with various drive tools.. one of which is compression..
Drivespace 3 I think.. I used it ages ago to make a compressed boot floppy.. you
could try accessing the disk from that if you have a spare box or free partition
to install on.. I recall having to use 98 coz no other operating system
supports drive compression anymore.. (not even sure if win95 does)

Regards,
Chris